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Fight for your love.

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As I write this story, it has been exactly 1 year since Tia transitioned to the spiritual realm. To remember her on this day, I’ll share another story.  The sweetest thing Tia used to say to me was “I don’t play about you.” And if she was talking to someone else she’d say “I don’t play about him.” She’d prove it over and over again throughout our relationship through her selflessness, her thoughtfulness and her loyalty. She figuratively fought for our love and one time almost literally. Here’s what happened. We were leaving a Mike Epps comedy show and found ourselves in an excessively crowded elevator lobby. We were trying to squeeze our way to the elevators leading to the parking garage. While waiting for the elevator, I hear a male voice aggressively say, “you need to watch where you stepping.” Initially, I didn’t respond because he wasn’t talking to me and this fool would have to have been insane to talk to my woman like that. Well, the negro was insane and he was talking to Tia. Ti
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No Place to Hide: A story about Tia for her birthday.

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This post was written on February 3, 2021, the first birthday after Tia passed.   For about a month, I’ve known that I wanted to share another story as part of Tia’s birthday celebration, but I’ve struggled deciding on which birthday story to share. There are so many good ones because Tia was big on birthdays. There’s the “Sweet Caroline” dance line at Mangia Nashville which made for a classic night. Tia’s 30th birthday was special. I woke her up early, presented her with a golden ticket like the one from American Idol and told her to grab a purse because we had a flight to LA in 2 hours. We didn’t pack bags. Part of her gift was me buying everything when we got there. She enjoyed that trip so much that she repaid me with a baby 9 months later. Then there’s the instant classic, “ butterflies and dragonflies ”. It hit me this morning that the story I should tell isn’t from a birthday at all. Here goes.  When I finished grad school, the college had our graduation dinner at a country club
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"I gotta be a gift." A story about intimacy.

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It was my birthday and we had pulled up to celebra te. Tia was looking better than the Instagram explore page. Her style was sexy-elegant. She’d field one compliment after the other. Her response to the adoration was one sentence, “I gotta be a gift.” My gift didn’t come with boundaries or restrictions.That’s intimacy. Intimacy is in the heart, mind and soul before there is anything physical. Early on, intimacy was creating romantic experiences by visiting the nicest cities, staying in the nicest hotels, eating in the nicest restaurants, rose petals and candles everywhere, etc. We would get used to that. As a matter of fact, the day after “Omar” drove Tia around the city , I’d ask Tia if she knew I was about to propose. She said no because we had several other proposal-worthy nights so she had stopped anticipating it. Every few years we would have to set new standards for intimacy and the process wasn’t easy. Well, for Tia it was not easy. For me it was easy. All I needed was more hugs
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3 Money Stories

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  Tia and I’s love was powered by the alignment of our ambition. We shared dreams of being business owners, real estate investors and creators of solutions that give other families hope. We also wanted to create a lifestyle without financial limitations. This required an immediate commitment to make wise financial decisions and be willing to make unpopular sacrifices. We did both from the moment we moved in together. I’ll share 3 of our most impactful money stories. We bought a house in our early 20s. Tia moved to Memphis following her graduation and she hated it. After about a year, she’d start making plans to move back to Nashville. She had a few options as far as living arrangements. She could have moved back in with her mom, she could have moved in with her dad or she could find her own place. Moving in with her parents wasn’t a great option for a once freed bird, so she decided to find her own place. Meanwhile, I had been living with my grandfather and it was about time that I fou
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A few unorthodox proposals.

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Nothing has ever been traditional or ordinary about Tia and I’s relationship, so why would my marriage proposal be any different. Following graduation, Tia moved to Memphis and hated it. After about a year, she’d start making plans to move back to Nashville. I’ll share more about Tia fleeing Memphis back to Nashville during our financial story . But ultimately, we both found ourselves looking for housing at the same time.  Unorthodox Proposal #1:  To me there was a simple solution to our housing dilemma and I presented it to Tia in these exact words. “We are going to get married, so let’s just find us a place together.” I don’t remember a time in our 16 year relationship dating or married where Tia looked more confused. I remember her asking me if that was my marriage proposal? I told her it wasn’t my official proposal, but let’s be honest, we know what’s happening here. I’m assuming she agreed because we bought a house TOGETHER, unmarried and not engaged. Unorthodox Proposal #2: Abou
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First comes love...

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There’s been a lot of divine intervention in Tia and I’s relationship, but our “how we started dating” story may be the one where you can literally see God’s fingerprints on the evidence.  Tia and I attended Tennessee State University. Her as an Occupational Therapist major and I as Economics and Finance major. Tia was a part of the last graduating class from that program. In Tia’s sophomore year, my Junior year, we would be in the same Business Information Systems class. This was a required course for each of us to graduate. For me, a business major, Business Information Systems made sense as a required course. For Tia, an Occupational Therapy student, it made NO sense for Business Information Systems to be a required course. She would take that complaint to the head of her department, petition to have the class removed as a graduation requirement which would allow her to drop the class. Sidenote: When Tia “petitions” anything, she wins. She was a tough sister. She didn’t lose many fi
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Before we were the Hales

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What do you call the experience of having an acquaintance whom you’d seen often, you had attended the same social events, you had even hung out with the same friends never knowing that person is really your soulmate? That was our experience. We met in high school and were never romantically attracted to the other. As the universe would have it, we would get married a decade later. I have 3 memories of Tia from high school. These are in order of least to most importance. The first memory was at a basketball game. Tia wore a denim jacket and pants set. It was fitted and warranted many looks from my high school eyes.  The second memory was at her high school sorority ball. I was there escorting one of her sorority sisters. Tia and I had small talk. The third memory was at a different basketball game. I remember this encounter more vividly than the other encounters. Tia and I would sometimes talk about this particular run in during our marriage. She would laugh about it while I'd be sa
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